Even on the days that I question my artistic ability, I know that I have a stereotypical artistic mind. I’m a living, breathing, walking disaster, a whirlwind of feelings, and an avalanche of ideas. My brain does not stop and my life is usually a reflection of whatever season I’m in.
Time and time again I have bought a goal setting and tracking notebook, driven to a coffee shop, put on my acoustic-indie playlist, and dove in. And then I forget to return to it. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of goal setting and I usually have goals in my mind that I think about daily. It’s just the act of organizing them in a book that hasn’t seemed to stick. Last year I finally gave up my beautiful Gold Coil calendar for my google calendar. It’s much less pretty but my day-to-day feels a lot more organized.
I love to-do lists and planning and have been known to fall down the rabbit hole of blogs that tell you how to schedule your year in advanced and 4 different calendars and lists to maintain. I think it’s brilliant. And I also feel trapped by too ridged of a schedule and scared of the monotony of each day carefully planned.
I like the possibility that loose organization brings me. And I also feel very self-conscious about it. My artistic habits of allowing space to change and create doesn’t always sync with the speed of my life or the responsibility of running a business.
And I think that’s why I like that this space is still just for me. I feel no pressure to turn this into anything outside of a place for me to try things and process and dive further into things I enjoy already. The open-ended-ness of it all is inviting. And goodness knows I don’t feel organized enough to be doing this.